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Local Author a Letterman Block Buster

NEW YORK -- Local author Alec Stipplefurter's television debut came to a screeching halt with his arrest for assault last night, after attacking David Letterman with an eight-and-a-half pound manuscript, causing riot on the set of the Late Show and leaving the late night talk show host with a nasty bump on his forehead.

The incident occurred when Stipplefurter, billed as the "Last Practicing Beat Generation Writer," joined comedian Carrot Top and Cyndi Lauper on the set, who both began to mercilessly mock his appearance as being odd.

"They were just kind of riffing on the Top Ten List," said Music Director Paul Shaffer, who escaped injury by hiding behind the CBS Orchestra risers. "It was funny stuff."

The Late Show Top Ten List last night was "Top Ten Things that Would Gag a Plastic Surgeon."

A close associate of Alec Ginsberg, Stipplefurter was abandoned in Mudcat Falls by Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassady during a potty stop in 1956 and, after a brief, tragically comic stint as an English professor at Mudcat Falls Community College, withdrew completely from public life for nearly forty years until the recent completion of his epic poem, Corpses and Cadillac Fins. His re-emergence sparked media curiosity which lead to his Late Show appearance.

"He is not a freak, he is a human being," said Maniacal Publishing House Editor, Mitzie Thesoras, whose company immediately acquired the publishing rights to the Beat poet's 1,542 epic poem page manuscript after video tape of the scuffle began airing on cable news shows, "and such insensitivity towards Alec's difficulties in readjusting to society after his long absence, however understandable, is quite unfortunate."

Thesoras also announced that Tim Burton, director of The Corpse Bride, has optioned Stipplefurter's upcoming autobiography for an animated feature film.




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